October 25th, 2021
by Kim Myles
A first date could be the start of a new chapter or the last curtain call for some. If you want the love story to continue, there are rules that will help you make the cut. Finding the right person doesn’t have to turn into an experiment gone wrong if you know these 8 things not to do on your first date.
1. Attempt to Be Something You’re Not.
Portraying yourself as something you’re not is misleading. It’s common for individuals to lie about their status or career. Most people want to appear to others in a flattering light. But being deceptive on a first date can backfire on you. It’s likely you’re going to maintain your deceptions or have to come clean if the date blossoms into something more.
Don’t blow your chances by starting off on the wrong foot. Every person might not be right for you, but give people a chance to know the real you. If you don’t like who you are, how could someone else?
2. Be Personable, Not Personal
Sometimes less is more. You don’t want to be a turnoff before the first course arrives. Offering too much, too early, can cause people to run. Let’s say you are the type who likes to talk about your personal life. You may be comfortable doing so, but it could make others uncomfortable.
It’s okay to reveal certain things, but discussing subjects like ex-lovers, financial situations, medical, or family issues, in depth, on a first date, should be off the menu.
3. Focus on Things Other Than Your Date
We live in a world that’s full of distractions and it may be difficult to focus on one thing for long periods. Many individuals lead busy lives, but if you are going to bring it on a date too, it might not turn out well. It could be hard to know if your date is the one for you if you’re engaging your social media more than them.
Before the date, try to release stress and worries. Clear your calendar. If you have a cell phone, keep it on vibrate during the date and be discreet if it’s necessary to interact with others. Mostly, share your thoughts with your date, not Instagram.
4. Have Expectations
Having high expectations on your first date could lower its quality. Be careful not to project your expectations on your date. It’s one thing to have expectations about love for yourself. It’s another to expect someone else to share them too.
If you haven’t dated in a while, you’d hope to find delightful prospects. The key is not to be disappointed if you don’t. Expect the best, but try not to force it. Things will flow with the right person.
5. Don’t Stand-Up or Show Up Late
Car trouble, transportation delays, or unscheduled events are things that could affect a first date. If you’re going to be late or not show up, be courteous enough to notify your date in advance if possible.
Everyone’s time is valuable. Lateness might not be an issue for some, but others may not be so understanding. And it’s no fun to have dinner or watch a movie with a person who’s upset because of your tardiness.
6. Be Pushy or Arrogant
A first date shouldn’t be so serious. Conversations should be light. It’s important to express who you are, but it’s not a good idea to force your opinions. Self-discipline is always a good practice.
Think of a first date as an interview. If you don’t have prior interactions with your date; it’s an opportunity to get to know them. The process should be explorative, not invasive. Recognize and respect your date’s boundaries. A lack of self-control or discipline might cost you your chances of future encounters.
7. Don’t Make the Bill a Big Deal
Everyone is not in the same financial boat. So it’s not wise to invite your date to a five-star restaurant if you don’t have five-star money. Don’t assume your date does, too. Most people want to impress on a first date, but money isn’t everything. When you worry about the cost of a date, it takes the focus away from the person.
If money is an issue, suggest a venue that both parties can agree to. Be creative. Find activities that are reasonably priced, like fairs, street markets, outdoor concerts, or shows. You could also make dinner at home and do something like karaoke night at a local cafe after. There are restaurants, museums, or other venues that offer discounts on certain days, too.
Communication is key if you have any concerns. Establishing a plan or conversation before the check arrives will help to avoid any awkwardness after.
8. Don’t Go on a Date if You’re Not Ready
If you’re pining over past love, it might not be a good idea to go on a date. It’s tempting to look for others to fill voids we feel within. The problem is, it’s hard to fill a void. And it’s not fair to expect a person to be another’s replacement.
After a breakup, it’s important to consider your intentions before deciding to date again. Check out my blog post, Must Have Pre-Relationship Checklist to get information to help you navigate your intentions before you find new love. Remember, it’s difficult for another to get to know you if you’re unavailable.
Lastly, try not to let your old experiences affect new ones. Your heart will tell you when the time is right for you to date again.
What are some turn-offs for you on a first date?
Leave your reply in the comment section below.
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